after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
