Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
one might say we're banned from that church
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
