I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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