I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
