he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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