I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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