We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
