if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
