Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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