We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Randomize
