If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i dont even know how to be here
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
