He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
