thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
