Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
