I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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