there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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