Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
