So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
My penis needs a shock collar
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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