hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
