I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
