Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
You're like the curious george of whores
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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