I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
