ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
