Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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