Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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