no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
