He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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