If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
