my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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