So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
