Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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