Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
