we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
