my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
