Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
40s are totally the cure
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
