I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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