The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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