im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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