I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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