Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
