Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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