she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
