how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
