How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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