Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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