what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
