I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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