My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
