At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
