I just made out with a guy for $7.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
