community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
