The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
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